Feeling stuck and wishing things could improve? It can be painful to realize that despite your best efforts, your relationships at home, work or socially are filled with more tension and unmet needs than you’d like. It all seems so simple but others don’t seem to be reciprocating in ways that come so easy to you. So you keep communicating with more clarity but it goes no where or gets worse. You’re frustrated and disappointed. You’re overfunctioning and it feels like the more you do the less they do. It seems so basic to you that they will see your efforts and match them, follow your model of owning your part and make repairs with you as well. But that’s not what happens, they let you do more and take more responsibility and before you know it you are overworked and it’s creating resentment and a lack of trust and respect.
If you speak up it, it may result in lip service acknoledgement but no lasting change. Worse, it may erupt in a conflict where they point out all other the things they are doing or rare exception times, which feels like it discredits your valid concerns. Maybe they counter-attack with every possible complaint they may have been holding in about you, in an attempt to shut down your efforts to resolve and rebalance the functioning between you. All of this creates a dynamic that has you wondering if your perception is off, maybe your expectations are too high, maybe you’re wrong to want things to improve. So you try to let it go but deep down you know you have a point and this needs to be addressed. You’re not wrong the situation is making you feel that way and their response keeps it stuck like this.
I specialize in helping people rebalance the dynamics of under or over functioning, moving into a place of better relational health. This place of calmer consideration of what is and isn’t possible in your present dynamic often involves experiments in pulling back from doing for others what they can and should do for themselves, risking failure and feelings that comes with that and dealing in reality around what others and you are willing and unwilling to do and accept.
Finding a therapist who empathetically listens while skilfully engaging you on a path to better relational health is important. Since your relationship with your therapist is one of the biggest determinants of success, it behooves you to interview several. To help us both sort goodness of therapeutic fit, I offer a free zoom-based 15-20 minute consultation before filling out online forms-simply click the link below and choose a time slot.
Maybe you’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, watched the reels-even sent them to the people you’re at odds with-but it’s not helping and that’s painful. Regardless if the issues you’re having are political, spiritual, finacial, parental, sexual, vocational, recreational or division of labor related – hope for better discussions and decisions exists and I can help.
If you’re in a couples or parenting dynamic attempting to navigate your differences has you in groundhog day or worse, why not give therapy a go. Resetting your process and pacing while learning how to better initiate and inquire about differences can make a huge difference. Imagine finding and reducing painful pitfalls, accepting that some missteps in family life may persist and repairing them with greater effectiveness and relational success.
Perhaps rather than being in a committed partnership, you’re a young adult in the individuation and launch process. If that’s the case your struggle may be with navigating more adult-like connection to and budding difference within your family. Therapy in this context can help you explore who you are and what you believe without engaging conflicts about this. Others may take issue with this and wish to return to a time where you seemed more aligned. Having compassion for this while also allowing yourself to assert your individuality is a skill that can be grown in therapy. Of course, you only get to do your part, so learning how to do that well and letting them do theirs however they will, is also the work of therapy. It’s challenging to accept that not all people can or will take this deeper journey alongside you-but you don’t have to lose yourself and your relationships in the process.
I also work with parents and professionals dealing with all the daily stressors associated with these settings. Triggers often arise in these dynamics, having you repressing or regressing in ways that don’t represent your best self. Having worked in corporate, entrepreunerial and homemaker roles in different phases of my career, I understand the unique challenges of each. I’m also well versed in women’s issues as well as men’s issues and see a fair amount of both in individual counseling, including those who identify as non-binary or LGBTQ+.
I specialize in working with parents, couples and individuals who are experiencing relational challenges often secondary to a child or adult with low support needs Autism, Anxiety or ADHD. I bring an experienced, relatable and direct style – normalizing struggles while confronting unhelpful patterns and setting you up for better relational health.
Some people come to make a decision, some want help in deepening connection or accepting and learning how to stay for a tough relationship, and some are seeking help in grieving or leaving an unworkable situation. My work is trauma-informed and represents an eclectic blend of psychodynamic, interpersonal neurobiology, attachment, family systems/parts work, ACT and somatic models.
If you’re ready to find out if we’ll work well together, please click the schedule an appointment link to get started. While I don’t take insurance I do partner with Mentaya who can submit out of network claims on your behalf for a small fee.
Please contact me to schedule a free initial consultation.
[6027435299] | Send Email
I look forward to working with you to achieve your goals.
The Benefits of Counseling
By seeking support, you are taking responsibility and action to change what no longer works in your life. We’ll work together to understand and shift unhelpful patterns into those that serve you and your loved ones better.
With respect and compassion, I will work with you to create an open channel of communication. The goal of our sessions together, will be to help you achieve greater life satisfaction. Additionally, we will work to maintain progress and move more easily through difficult times going forward.
“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”
– Nido Qubein